home...

h.
o.
m.
e.

4 simple letters.
all formed into one small word.
home.
what is home?
I seem to always say I want to go home but.
I'm not sure where that is.
What it is.
I get into these moods.
I feel so freakin bipolar, no lie.
I scare myself.
Sometimes I'll be in the blue. so happy. yet emotionless. Accepting.
Then I'll be stuck.
In the darkness.
I can't breathe.
I suffocate.
Alone.
Defenseless.
Hopeless.
I want to go home then.
But where is it?
Where is home?
What.
What is home?
I don't know anymore.
I seem to always want to go home.
The dark seems more present everyday.
Constant.
Less blue. more dark.
I can't get out.


I want to go home.

s.o.s.

is anybody listening. can you hear me when i call? shooting signals in the air. cuz i need somebody's help. i can't make it on my own. So i'm giving up myslf. is anybody listening? listening. i've been stranded here and i'm miles away. i'm shooting signals hoping they'll save me. i've locked myself inside these walls. cuz out there i'm always wrong. i don't think i'm gonna make it. so while i'm sitting here on the eve of my defeat. i'll write this letter hoping it'll save me. is anybody listening? can you hear me when i call? shooting signals in the air. cuz i need somebody's help. i can't make it on my own. so i'm giving up myself. is anybody listening? listening...i'm stuck in my own head and i'm oceans away. would anybody notice if i chose to stay? i'll send an S.O.S. tonight. I wonder if I will survive. How in the hell did i get so far away this time? so now i'm sitting here. the eve of my departure's near. i say a prayer please someone save me. is anybody listening? can you hear me when i call. shooting signals in the air. cuz i need somebody's help. i can't make it on my own. so i'm giving up myself. is anybody listening? listening. i'm lost here. i can't make it on my own. i don't wanna die alone. i'm so scared. drowning now. reaching out. holding on to everything i love. crying out. dying now. need some help. is anybody listening? can you hear me when i call. shooting signals in the air. cuz i need somebody's help. i can't make it on my own. so i'm giving up myself. is anybody listening...




everywhere i go. everyone i meet. everytime i try to fall in love. they all wanna know why i'm so cold. why i'm so broken. why am i so hard inside. why am i scared? what am i afraid of? i don't even know. this story never had an end. i've been waiting. i'm been searching. i've been dreaming you would come. but i know the ending of this story. you're never coming back. never! i knew it all along. so predictable. i knew something would go wrong. something's always wrong. but you don't have to go. say anything at all. so predictable. everywhere i go for the rest of my life. everyone i know. everyone i care about. they all wanna know what's wrong with me. well i know what it is. i'm ending this right now.

cuz i'm young and i'm hopeless. i'm lost and i know this. i'm going nowhere that's just what they say. i'm troublesome i've fallen. i'm angry at my father. it's me against this world and i don't care. i don't care. i don't care. and now? i don't care.

please don't walk away. i know you wanna stay. just give me a sign. say anything say anything. please. don't leave. say anything say anything.

your tears. you say them way too long. and your nights...you can't sleep at all. hold on. you're the type what you looking for but you don't want to no more. you're the type what you waiting for but you don't want to no more. and we all bleed the same way as you do. and we all have the same things to go through. hold on if you feel like letting go. hold on it gets better than you know. don't stop looking you're one step closer. don't stop searching it's not over. hold on. what are you looking for? what are you waiting for? do. you. know. what you're doing to me? go ahead. what are you waiting for?

dear god.

dear God.
The only thing I ask of you,
is to hold her when I'm not around...
when I'm much to far away...

no many how many deaths that I die I will never forget.

No matter how many times that you told me you wanted to leave
No matter how many breaths that you took you still couldn't breathe
No matter how many nights that you lied wide awake to the sound of the pausing rain

Where did you go? where did you go? where did you go?

Heart beat, a heart beat, I need a... heart beat, a heart beat...

Tell me would you kill to save for a life?
Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?
Crash, crash, burn let it all burn
This hurricane is chasing us all underground.

shake.

stop everything.
it's time now.
the end of everything.