Do you remember when?

Dear Bobbie,
Do you remember when you were young and very pretty? I do.
I remember pleated skirts, black and white saddle shoes.
Do you remember dancing half night?
I do, I still think of you when we dance,
Although we cant jitterbug as we did then.

Do you remember when,
How long has it been?
1945 you opened my blue eyes,
To see a whole new life.

Do you remember when,
I told you this that night,
That if you're by my side,
When everyday begins,
I'll fall for you again.
I made a promise when,
I told you this that night.

I'll be fine.
Cause when I die, then I die loving you.
It's alright, I'll be fine.
When I die then I die loving you,
Loving you, loving you.

Do you remember the times we would give up on each other and get back together.
Then we finally was married in 1949.
We drove the yellow convertible on our honeymoon.
Do you remember? I do.

Life has led us here,
Together all these years.
This house that we have made,
Holds twenty-thousand days.
And memories we've saved,
Since life has lead us here.

And I'll be fine (I'll be Fine).
Cause when I die, then I die loving you.
It's alright (It's alright), I'll be fine (I'll be Fine).
Cause when I die then I die loving you,
Loving you, loving you.

I'm coming home to you,
Slipping off my shoes.
Resting in my chair.
See you standing there,
The silver in your hair.

I'm coming home to you,
When I lay tonight, when I close my eyes,
I know the sun will rise,
Here or the next life.
As long as your still mine, then its alright.

I'll be fine (I'll be Fine).
Cause when I die, then I die loving you.
It's alright (It's alright), I'll be fine (I'll be Fine).
Cause when I die then I die loving you,
Loving you, loving you.

You have gray hair now,
But you're a beautiful women,
And the years have been good to both of us.
We walk slow now, but we still have each other.
The glue of love is still bonding us together.
Love is what I remember. Do you remember?


This is official the song that will make me tear up once in a while. Along with 2 others I won't name.
It's by Yellowcard.

I suggest you check it out.
It's the one thing that give me hope sometimes.
Oddly enough...

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.

Senior Year.
pretty heavy.
It took the first day of school for me to realize that I'm actually finally on my last year of school.
It felt weird, honestly.
Not a bad weird, a good one I guess, but not even classified as "good".
Just weird.
I walked in the gym and looked for the older kids, then realized....wait...I AM the older kid.
How. Weird. yeah.
So far, classes, and school in general is pretty laid back. It's the most time I've ever had during school. I'm a bit scared honestly.
This year will bring a lot of change, I can tell.
There's about 4 "new" people in our class. Honestly, I know of one, hate another, and the other 2 are just...there.
It's really odd, I use to be that. The new one in this strange little school. I noticed how everyone acts around the new new kids. The one from Bluffton. Paul[?] People would rather be with me instead of him. It's quite sad honestly. People are sooo use to olds things...what's going to happen when they become pushed into a new world of college? I hope they crash and burn honestly. Why? I know it's a harsh thing to say, but I bet more than half of them have no clue how hard it is being "new". It really is difficult when you're scared, and no one tries to help.
I'd help the new new one...but sadly every time I do, it feels like he's hitting on me, and ask Gabi, it takes a brick wall for me to notice that one. So it's really awkward. [[feedback and help would be nice. I think I feel pity and relate to him so I wouldn't mind befriending him, but it's odd. feedback would be wonderful.]]
Working in the lunchroom. [[note that the Paul [?] kid works then as well....so it makes things even harder. >.>]]
I deal with the k-5 until you hit 3rd grade. They sadly range from cute to confused, to annoying, to odd. It's a bit moe difficult when the teachers of these kids tell you 3 things to do for each kid, all conflicting each other.
"Make sure you just make the wallet and read the list then hand the food over."
"Wait, just give the wallet back!"
"Send them down the line to the cashiers."
"No, take their money and make sure it's correct and put it in the money box yourself!"

....
I do NOT deal with confusing orders.
I can deal with people, it's the adult teachers that annoy me....
[[sad when a 5 year old is easier to understand....]]

It's all for cruise though. BTW, I leave May 13-17. I'm pretty excited. 4 days away with random people. wonderful. <3

Money has become a big deal as well....
I thankfully have paid/worked off a lot of my band dues, leaving only $50 to pay. [[original was $130, crazy, right?]]
Senior pictures are about $300 min. and I need that paid and sent very soon.
I'm not getting any invitations for graduation AT ALL, but I must buy the cap, gown, and tassel for Graduation. [[they are going to deal with me wearing all of my band pins/medals...]]
I'm probably going to enter in Miss THA again....just for the hell of it's my Senior year, so why not? That's $25 if they stay within the same range.
God only knows what else...oh! Prom. How could I forget. :/

Speaking of prom. I only want to go with one person, Not sure if He wants to go with me anyways...or is allowed to....and I want to take Gabi, cuz I'm pretty sure she'll never have a prom experience, and I REALLY want her at prom. <3

With all of my family's money problems, my mom still wants me to get a new dress, but she's cut back on her "any dress" to a cheap new dress....so my red corset dress idea has gone out the window...
[[I'm quite upset with that one.]]

Ah, well....so goes life.

[[I'm not even touching college or scholarship crap just yet.]]

Goodnight loves.
Always.
Angel.

You can be a sweet dream. Or a beautiful nightmare

School starts tomorrow.
I'm so not ready....more towards waking up early honestly.
Not sure what to make of myself...
That's all.

Goodnight loves.
Angel

It's a beautiful place if we make it.

Driving to Beaufort in the rain was kinda nice. I really enjoyed driving over those bridges. My mom was listening to her ipod so she was quiet, thank God. The way the sun was fighting with the clouds to show, and the ocean moving with the rain, it was very beautiful. Driving back home was even greater. The sun was in full view, and behind me were the thick storm clouds. I just really enjoy crap like that I guess.

So halloween stuff is already in people's minds. I know it's not just me or my fellow halloween lovers cuz the stores have halloween candy already on display! For proof I'm gonna show it to you~! See it up there? It should have been right here ----> but as you can tell...it didn't work so well.

I'm still kinda upset these days, but if you can't tell I'm trying REALLY hard to fight that. School's about to start so thankfully I can focus more on stuff like that. I mean, I'll be at 3 different schools. Keeping myself busy is something that I can do easily. Plus a possible tutoring job. BTW. Anyone who needs a tutor in anything BUT Cal. or Spanish or Physics or Gov./Eco [[last 2 cuz I'm taking those classes this year...]] Then please talk to me. I can help you out in French 101 or Spanish 101 though... It'd be $35 per hour. $25 per 30 mins.

Anyways. I'm kinda hoping this school year won't be so odd...I have a feeling it will be anyways.

I guess I'm off for now.

Always.
Angel.

This is just a state. a state of mind.

I just finished reading Lock and Key.
It scares me how much of my life is reflected in this book and in so many ways.

Quick synopsis:
Ruby, a 17 year old girl starting her senior year without a mother, new school, and living with her older sister that she hasn't seen since She went to college. Ruby's mother is a divorced woman who runs to drugs, alcohol, smoking and men. She runs far from her problems and is abusive. She likes to hide from the world and live in the night.
Ruby is like a parent to her mother. She works for her mother, cleans and cooks, and has decided that the world is just someplace she needs to push through. She states that it's a one-woman show, and that's life. Her mother suddenly leaves one day and Ruby after a month of living alone is caught by DSS. She is sent to live with her long lost sister Cora and her husband, Jamie.
Cora and Jamie are two college drawn people, who fell in love and now wants to live a new and wonderful life together. Cora left her mother and fought against all odd to go to college and become a family lawyer. She made her way through college and is now very successful is everything except having a child of her own. She longs for the one thing she never had and dreams to provide it to a child. When Ruby comes to live with Cora, she finds out that Cora never abandoned her but her mother never wanted Ruby and Cora to meet again.
Nate Cross is Jamie and Cora's neighbor. He also has a not so perfect family life. His parents are also divorced and he was kicked out of his mother's house and his father abuses him. Yet Nate has the appearance as Mr. Perfect and Happy. Ruby has a hard time understand this and when she understands his hidden pain, she tries to help him as he helped her but struggles.

It was hard for me to read this book, it was all too much for me. I finally did finish it though. I just really hope my life will end up with that much hope in the end. Then again, it's just a stupid book, right? It makes me wonder just how many people around me really does understand what I go through. Yes I do realize that I basically told random people what I go through daily, but still, it will never cause too much understanding. For the 3-4 people who I know read this never goes through this, but then again, I only know one of them really well. I'm still pretty sure I'm right.
I'm sorry if I come of as a bitch right now or rude, or "poor me" i don't mean to be, I just needed to write.

Always.
Angel.

Our love had been so strong for far too long.

So I'm listening to A little piece of heaven, and that's where I got the title, just for the info.

I love Sarah Dessen's stuff, I really do...but sometimes, I just wanna chuck her books across my room because that crap NEVER happens. It's really depressing, you know?

The book I'm recently reading is called Lock and Key. I kinda focus on Sarah's books and ignore the rest, so atm, Tom Clancy [yet again] is taking a backseat with House of Leaves, and some dream interpretation thingys Freud wrote about.

I realized it more in Lock and Key. I always move around from place to place. I'm at school number 9 and being the new girl never means the hottest guy at school thinks you're interesting and you talk with him while you're from a getto school and go to private school and everyone is all positive about you. That's such bullcrap. Trust me, I know. No perfect jock, who has amazing blue eyes, hot hair, and perfect body has an interest in new getto girl.
ha. nope.
then they live happily ever after the end. >.> yeah. no.

I do wish that happened though.

hmmm...
thought of the night.

Goodnight.
Always~
Angel.

Cuz I know Montanna and Hailey will comment...

Question for you...
After someone telling me I should ask in my blogger.

Let's say this couple got married and loved each other deeply, but one of them died, and went to heaven.
A good few years later, the living person, remarries and falls in love with another.
Then, this new couple dies.
So they both go to heaven.
Now in heaven, what happens when the first love sees the other and gets excited, but only to find out there's another love.
does that person stay with the first love, or the 2nd?
Or will all three forget about everything?

In death there's a lot of unsolved mysteries. We'll never know until we die.
I just want to hear people's opinions.

Just get back up when it knocks you down.

To give myself a reminder and a yay type thing, I'm posting my band schedule. :D
Well, it's just for football atm....but I'l posting it anyways.

Aug. 28th- Bluffton[away] @ 7:30pm

Sept. 4th- Hardeeville [TBA] @7:30pm

Sept. 11th- Estill [Home& band night] @ 7:30pm

Sept. 18th- Battery Creek[away] @7:30pm

Sept. 25th- HHI [home] @7:30pm

Oct. 2nd- silver bluff [home] @7:30pm

Oct 9th- Pelion [homecoming] @7:30pm

Oct. 16th- Wade Hampton [away] @7:30pm

Oct. 23rd- Barnwell [home] @7:30pm

Oct. 30th- Edisto[away] @7:30pm

Not including parades and the such btw. :D

There's more to living than being alive.

I love reading other peoples thoughts...
I love the reactions of people when they know I'm not a nice person and I say a bitchy thing.
I love confusing people with my actions or the way I am.
It's sad to see people go because they think I'm something they wish I was.
It's worse when it's someone you have grown to love.
Why do I like being a hypocrite? Or know I am one yet don't do anything about it...?
I don't know the answer...
Honestly, I don't.
I just hope that things will fall into play a bit quicker this time, and unlike last time I don't let things slip away...I hope I have become smarter.
We that was my tid bit...Time to read a bit more of the 2 books I'm working on.
House of Leaves and Without Remorse.
Books and Music are wonderful things. I just need it to be raining and drinking coffee. <3
As I wonder off into words and rhythms, I bid you all a good night.

As Always,
~Angel