Life come tumbling down all at the wrong moments.
I'm a senior this year. High school is finally come down to one last year to endure. It's amazing how many changes a person goes through during just four small years.
Right now, I can't say I'm enjoying the easy carefree life as a senior as many and most believe or do. My money issues come into a realistic view and hope and dreams become crushed. I'm quite alone in my family to succeed with what I wish to do and where I wish to go. It's something I've noticed that many don't think about until their Junior year has come to a close. Or maybe some people have accepted defeat in life and come to terms with what they are going to do and who they shall become. I'm fighting this mold. The idea of being here in 5-10 years scares me enough to fight just a little more. Stress is overbearing and I'm already starting to crumble. It seems like I always want the easy way out now. I've become lazy because I've always had to be strong and sure of myself. I'm not sure if people react like this or not. I want to be the first of the Madisons to get a Master's degree. A first in my family to become a Musician of a sort. I want to make my mark in the world as the one who did sort away from my family's ideals.
I want to do what I wish for, what I long for, and what I desperately dream about. To get away from chaos from my own home would seem miles away from now, but one day, I'll achieve it.
It's hard to remember my freshmen year, now that I try to look back. I remember the basics, but that's it. Major events that made people remember me. Sadly, all of them weren't so honorable. I wonder what major moment will be remembered my senior year. I think all of us who read this blog will remember the most horrid things from my Junior year. Maybe it comes every other year. [[which isn't looking great for my 1st year at college, wherever that may be.]]
I try to remove stress and instead it becomes replaced by something else. I want a vacation so terribly, but I'm stopped every time the opportunity comes about. Just a week away from worries. Well, no use in wanting something that won't happen for a long while.
Sometimes life gives to a fake jab to the right and a wicked left hook and knocks you down. But once it's over, you remember it and you won't fall for the fakes again.
Even if you start crumbling from the weight of stress on your shoulders there will always be at least one who helps you. You just need to find them is all.
Insight on my senior year doesn't look too great, but that's quite alright. There's always next year.
Wonderfully done.
~Angel.
Right now, I can't say I'm enjoying the easy carefree life as a senior as many and most believe or do. My money issues come into a realistic view and hope and dreams become crushed. I'm quite alone in my family to succeed with what I wish to do and where I wish to go. It's something I've noticed that many don't think about until their Junior year has come to a close. Or maybe some people have accepted defeat in life and come to terms with what they are going to do and who they shall become. I'm fighting this mold. The idea of being here in 5-10 years scares me enough to fight just a little more. Stress is overbearing and I'm already starting to crumble. It seems like I always want the easy way out now. I've become lazy because I've always had to be strong and sure of myself. I'm not sure if people react like this or not. I want to be the first of the Madisons to get a Master's degree. A first in my family to become a Musician of a sort. I want to make my mark in the world as the one who did sort away from my family's ideals.
I want to do what I wish for, what I long for, and what I desperately dream about. To get away from chaos from my own home would seem miles away from now, but one day, I'll achieve it.
It's hard to remember my freshmen year, now that I try to look back. I remember the basics, but that's it. Major events that made people remember me. Sadly, all of them weren't so honorable. I wonder what major moment will be remembered my senior year. I think all of us who read this blog will remember the most horrid things from my Junior year. Maybe it comes every other year. [[which isn't looking great for my 1st year at college, wherever that may be.]]
I try to remove stress and instead it becomes replaced by something else. I want a vacation so terribly, but I'm stopped every time the opportunity comes about. Just a week away from worries. Well, no use in wanting something that won't happen for a long while.
Sometimes life gives to a fake jab to the right and a wicked left hook and knocks you down. But once it's over, you remember it and you won't fall for the fakes again.
Even if you start crumbling from the weight of stress on your shoulders there will always be at least one who helps you. You just need to find them is all.
Insight on my senior year doesn't look too great, but that's quite alright. There's always next year.
Wonderfully done.
~Angel.
posted by Angel at
6:53 PM
2 Comments:
the thought that you have to start deciding what you want to do with your whole life is very scary.
this is like the hardest times of our lives, or so we're told. the time where we're all so rebellious and not in our right minds and such, and we're expected to make decisions that impact our whole entire lives.
it almost makes me want to stay in high school.
...almost.
I'd stay in high school if I lived somewhere I liked....
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