There's a reason for the world, you and I.

I have such the problem right now with how friends go.

I've been on and off mad at a few friends, and could never stay mad. It's a bit depressing that this occurs.

Jamie- He seems to just forget his friends whenever he's got a girlfriend and it really ticks me off. It also ticks me off when he's visiting and decides to never say hey. No matter who I'm with I'd like to see my friend's faces once a blue moon. I'm not super ticked, pissed off mad, but It does sting a bit.

Flip Side- I hate how the smallest thing like one apology then a cool off time makes me forgive him that quickly. >.> Then it doesn't help when I hear that He'll be shipped off 2012 when he graduates The Citadel. I'm kinda mad yet again because more and more of my friends are just being sent away to war, and God only knows if they'll survive or how long until I see them again.

I was reading Givesmehope, and one of them a while ago was about a girl and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend was suppose to come home the day after that phone call. When she was expecting a call saying he's back home, she instead got a call saying he was killed as they were ambushed on the way out. [[the gives me hop part was the soldier's little sister rode her bike 5 miles to see her and comfort her.]] It really upsets me, it really does. All of my friends are all just falling apart. :( [[ok, more like moving away]] But still.

Gabi- She's such the queen bitch. She was suppose to be my best friend and help me as much as I've tried to help her. two seconds in the hard stuff, and BAM she basically tells me fuck you.

Flip Side- well, there really isn't one except I'm still [and always will be] hurt and shocked by it, but now All I want is my damn book back, then Whatever, she can live her life, and I want nothing to do with it.

People these days kinda aren't my thing to socialize with I think.

Stan Man asked our class what we thought about college. I really didn't want to tell anyone what I thought about it. I made a small comment that was like really really watered down to what I REALLY thought, and even that offended people. At least I'm starting to actually think about how others react for the most part.

What I said. "Tcl is a joke and I'm hoping college is much harder and I'm scared it won't be."

Reaction. "Woah, *laughs*" [[brandon nettles dumb comment...] "my mom owns TCL." [yeah ok. Thomas Letizel does. My reaction? "Well tell your mom to step it up, it needs to be harder."

What I really wanted to say...

I believe college will be THE easiest thing I've ever done in my life. I'm praying that my life there will be much better there because I'm not around narrow-minded people or people who are obsessed with following people they hate. I'm finally glad that there are people who think outside the box for once and teacher that actually have the potential to challenge me in a way where I do enjoy it. I'm finally glad that I will not get insulted by teacher whose knowledge is limited more so than mine, and states they will "give me something hard to do". I'm glad I'll distance myself from people I don't want to be near and get the chance to see people more like my mind. Maybe in a small little way, there's someone out there in college that share a lot of similarities like me, and became strong like I did. I just want to see people who are real and not fake. I'm excited for college more than anything. I've never been so ready to just leave home now. I want to leave and I want nothing to do with this town. I'll be the one laughing and smiling and screaming for joy my graduation day and you bet your bottom dollar I'll be the fastest one out that door.

I want to make the graduation speech the more I think about it. I'm really hoping that I'll be the 2nd smartest as Cam's most likely the 1st in our class. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to, mainly because of my grades this year. I've had a very high GPA of 4.0 for about half a semester so far. I'm pretty excited to see myself graduate with a beta sash and march down with a band medal or two.

the more I think about it the more it really hits my mind. I'm excited. I really am.

Once again, a flip side.

I'm scared I won't be able to let of and become less stressed about things in my life and everything that happens. *sigh*