Time passes by sooo quickly.
I honestly didn't wanna regular blog until I finished my challenge...but the times call for it darlings.
I think waiting to be pushed into the hectic world of music is very tortuous. I'm cleaning, packing, chilling online, all alone in a empty house. Everyone's at work or being babysat. I'm here. Just here...No cameron to wake up to. Nothing to wake me up cuz he got out of bed....Yet I wake up thinking he did, I just missed him...But no, it's my mind playing games.
I miss him, I truly do.
HogwartsLive has lost it's touch, yet I wanna be a Witch level so things we planned will work.
"I'm missing you so much....And I'm wasting away, away from you."
Yay for depressing music? haha
Oh shittt....I gotta work on my DJ music. lol I wish I had my other itunes with meee.....cammie....:P
A part of me says fuck him roommate! He was mine first! I have the right to miss him so much that I want him texting me constantly.
Another part feels selfish for wanting him all the time that I try to leave it alone...His roommate wants a good friend in college, and Cam is just the guy.
I think after Xavier died, I haven't been so scared to lose Cameron to another girl...Life's too short worry about that...I should worry more that I got the message across that I love him, I miss him, and he means everything to me. I'm scared to lose Cameron in general. I'm scared that one day, he'll just leave this world without notice and everything I wanted to do with him has been left undone and I'd be alone here, Fighting my problems by myself.
I think things will be easier because Cameron will be in Columbia and I'll be in Rock Hill. Close, and easy. It'll be like when Cam lived in Lady's Island and I was in Ridgeland, but this time, I'll be driving.
I miss his face...but I don't want him upset. Honestly, I'm a pro at depression now I think. haha Him, not so much. ;)
Maybe he understands now why I wanted to go out so much the beginning of the year?
I'll be ok. I just need to focus on cleaning and packing. 2 more full days and 3 more nights to sleep through. Need to deposit my check today as well...
God help me.
I think waiting to be pushed into the hectic world of music is very tortuous. I'm cleaning, packing, chilling online, all alone in a empty house. Everyone's at work or being babysat. I'm here. Just here...No cameron to wake up to. Nothing to wake me up cuz he got out of bed....Yet I wake up thinking he did, I just missed him...But no, it's my mind playing games.
I miss him, I truly do.
HogwartsLive has lost it's touch, yet I wanna be a Witch level so things we planned will work.
"I'm missing you so much....And I'm wasting away, away from you."
Yay for depressing music? haha
Oh shittt....I gotta work on my DJ music. lol I wish I had my other itunes with meee.....cammie....:P
A part of me says fuck him roommate! He was mine first! I have the right to miss him so much that I want him texting me constantly.
Another part feels selfish for wanting him all the time that I try to leave it alone...His roommate wants a good friend in college, and Cam is just the guy.
I think after Xavier died, I haven't been so scared to lose Cameron to another girl...Life's too short worry about that...I should worry more that I got the message across that I love him, I miss him, and he means everything to me. I'm scared to lose Cameron in general. I'm scared that one day, he'll just leave this world without notice and everything I wanted to do with him has been left undone and I'd be alone here, Fighting my problems by myself.
I think things will be easier because Cameron will be in Columbia and I'll be in Rock Hill. Close, and easy. It'll be like when Cam lived in Lady's Island and I was in Ridgeland, but this time, I'll be driving.
I miss his face...but I don't want him upset. Honestly, I'm a pro at depression now I think. haha Him, not so much. ;)
Maybe he understands now why I wanted to go out so much the beginning of the year?
I'll be ok. I just need to focus on cleaning and packing. 2 more full days and 3 more nights to sleep through. Need to deposit my check today as well...
God help me.
posted by Angel at
9:40 AM
1 Comments:
I have Google Alerts set up for all mentions of "HogwartsLive" or "Hogwarts Live" since it's my site--I'm Headmaster Danilo. Anyway, that's how I stumbled across this page.
I really feel for you. I know what it's like to be depressed, and I know I utter the words, "God help me" all too often to be truly happy.
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